Counting on Karma

Counting Til' 2012 »» Counting down to the New Year means different things to different people. The New Year is a celebration of new beginnings. It is a time to let go of old wounds. Admittedly, I have an old wound from the beginning of this year and the end of the last that is still open. Most times I am able to chalk it up as a life experience. Other times I get angry and hope for a resolution… the kind I see for myself. I am a believer in karma… what come around goes around. And the person who stole my money I believe will pay for it in some form or another… eventually. My human nature propels me to want to see how that happens, but most times we don’t see how karma comes a knocking. I also hope before it comes knocking on his door, he makes things right. Karma reacts patiently… it waits, giving us the opportunity to fix our mistakes before it has to step in. I believe in the human spirit and allowing our “BE”ing to respond to what is true and right. It would be best if he could have his own a-ha moment and issue me a check for the $2400.00 he stole. I paid him for a service he couldn’t complete. It was riddled with errors and beyond the time frame we agreed upon.  When I asked him for a refund he stated I was slapping him in the face. He couldn’t see beyond his own pride and how he had already slapped me in the face several times. He threatened me with a lawsuit of slander if I mentioned his name and his poor business practice. He threatened to slap me with thousand of dollars of liability if the judge saw things to his favor. He said I accepted his work when I agreed he could take down the “Under Construction” message on the website. Which I did as he assured me things were working smoothly and operating seamlessly. Finding out after our email correspondence they were not! He bullied me into parting our separate ways through the possibility of losing my case in court. Many lessons were learned on my part from this incident. It has developed me as a business owner to be more cautious going forward, possibly too cautious. What bothers me the most about all this, and why I still feel wounded, is because he was a man I knew personally from town. He is a member of my church. A man I thought was an upstanding member of the community. Instead pride and money caused his judgment to be distorted. Money has a way of doing that to people. They forget what they know to be true and right and behave in a manner that is uncharacteristic to their true selves. I believe this was uncharacteristic to whom he really is. I believe he is a good and decent human being who made a selfish decision. All I can hope as I count down to 2012 is that he becomes the man he was meant to “BE” and I move forward allowing the powers of the universe to justify all matters.

The first gift of Christmas

Too often we are so hurried in our day we miss what is right in front of us, namely, the needs of others. We tend to dismiss the requests of our loved ones when we feel this way. I have been working a million hours (or so it seems) and have to plan for every moment left of my time from now until Christmas Day. I am working several jobs, which includes nights, going from one 8-hour job to another. There are only a few days, between now and Christmas, where I am only scheduled to be at one job. On those days, I have several errands that need to be accomplished, thus making my partial day off feel just as busy as if I was scheduled to work a shift.

One evening while leaving work at 5 pm to begin my journey through traffic and store lines, I get a text from my husband. He is requesting I stop to pick up some sugar (he needs it for his coffee in the morning). Ugh! I think… really, one more stop! Doesn’t he realize most nights I am on my feet, working two jobs. All I wish for tonight is to get these errands done so I can go home and rest! Probably not, I surmise.

I am continually trying my best to practice a patient attitude. So badly I felt like texting…R U Crazy? Of course I don’t want to get you sugar! I just want to get home! I really don’t feel like adding one more stop on my busy night!  But I didn’t. I said to myself… tis’ the season for peace on earth and goodwill toward men… including my husband.

As I was walking into the grocery store, my last stop of the evening, I noticed the bell ringer. She was covered from head to toe. Having only the circular frame of her face exposed to the blowing wind. While looking at her on my walk across the parking lot, I thought about recess duty, and how every day, unless the temperature is below 20 degrees, I have to stand outside. It’s not fun standing outside on the cold days, at least for me. So I thought if she is doing this out of the kindness of her heart, she is a much better person than I am. And if she is doing this to make a minimum wage, she is still a much better person than I am, because in the end she is still doing it for a charitable organization. I don’t think I could take a job that would require me to stand outside for hours in the cold air. I hate being cold! This thought and the decision to buy her a hot cocoa coincided with each other. Maybe it could at least help to warm her on the inside, even if she was standing outside in the cold. I moved past her after inserting a few dollars into the kettle. Once inside, I picked up the requested sugar my husband wanted and proceeded to the café area, all the while hoping they had hot cocoa. They did! So I picked up a medium hot cocoa and delivered it to a very appreciative young girl ringing her bell, wishing everyone who passed by a Happy Holiday.

I am very grateful I was granted the grace to see what was right in front of me. A girl whom was apparently cold, as well as my husbands perfectly reasonable request to pick him up some sugar, considering I was already out. We can be so consumed with what WE want; we unintentionally dismiss what someone else’s needs are. Especially this time of year, when we have hurried bodies and minds that are preparing for the day Love was born.

The first gift of Christmas was Love. My Christmas wish is that we will all be granted the grace to see what is right in front of us, the opportunity to give the gift of Love to others.

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A Soldiers Silent Night

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Have a very Merry Christmas! 

"Did you hear the bad news..."

“Did you hear the bad news?”

“Yes, I did.” I state somberly.

“Do you think my Dad has some good advice? That we should do what we can to help Mom around the house and just stay calm?” he asks.

“I think that’s great advice.” I agree.

I have wanted to write this piece and at the same time not quite sure what to say. For whatever reason I feel it is important for you to get a glimpse into this family’s life. They are your typical American family… hard working, making ends meet. It is clear that they find joy in the simple things life offers. Specifically the love they have for one another.

Logan is the boy I know, and he loves animals…all of them. He loves people and values relationships. He is smart, quirky and kind. I learn something new from him everyday. He is a wealth of knowledge, absorbing all the interesting facts in the books he reads. He is content in his own thoughts and will randomly shine a smile. It is always about something only he is aware of, hidden in what it is he is thinking. He tells me how much he loves to go to the park with his Dad. They pretend to be saving the world from an alien invasion. He loves to cuddle on the couch with his Mom, watching the latest National Geographic documentary. He loves that his older sister waits for him. She makes it possible that he won’t have to take the bus home from school on any given day.

Logan’s mother has been diagnosed with Cancer for the second time in her young life. Logan is worried and at the same time reassuring the people around him that his Mom will be okay. “She fought it before, and was okay. She will be okay this time too. She has the best doctors money can buy. She said even if she doesn’t make it, she would see me grow up.” These are the thoughts and feelings of an 11-year-old boy whose mother is battling for her life.

How do you reassure an 11-year-old boy that everything will be okay?

I think the only way to do that is to love him. Show him love and give him love. You reassure him that despite the uncertainty of his future… he will always be loved. And always make sure he never forgets how much his Mom loves him too!

Update: On September 28, 2012 Logan's Mom lost her valiant battle to Cancer. She was courageous until the end, making sure at every moment her children, Logan and Savanna, as well as her husband John would be okay.

In her words...

Carpe Diem